I’m suffering from multiple problems, anxiety, depression, narcolepsy, sleep apnea, self harm (not cutting), and probably other things… I struggle with having to be a dependent, not able to work or even drive. I have to take meds as well as I am supposed to sleep around 12 hours a day to even come close to being able to live like a normal person. Struggling with focus and/or motivation, my depression and everything combining making me go from mad to sad to not even caring. It is rare I have a day where I don’t mentally say that I hate everything, everyone, and the whole world (even though I don’t really). I am so fearful of so much, only recently admitted that I need to talk to my doctor about anti-depressants. I know that I need God and to turn more to him and everything, but I am struggling so much with my human pride and stupidity, fearing what more time I will lose if I do as I should and have a better relationship with God. I recently decided to write to my pastor about my problems, but I haven’t even started a draft yet… I talk to a couple of my close family members about these things, as they’re the only ones I trust to listen and try to understand without judgment.